Women Still Attractive After 30

My significant other, usually I call her My Woman, not because it’s particularly sexist and macho of me, but because we are not married but have been together for over ten years now, and so I find it appropiate to say My Woman, instead of the woman I’ve been attached with for a decade now or perhaps my lover, but anyway to get to the point of this, is that as a man you get older and while you would like to think that 16 year old girls are perfect, the truth is that most women bore me, and not just the younger ones.

What happens is that external looks like nice breasts, thighs, face, whatever fade and while young women are certainly in their prime when it comes to their looks, they are also not very interesting. Older women have a certain confidence that makes them sexy, that is if their bitterness has not completely corrupted their personalities. More importantly they know things, like how to make love, what a good book is, and even if they don’t know how to cook, they at least know a good dining establishment to go to.

My woman told me a story about how a man my age, was caught by his wife having sex in his office with his assistant. His wife at the time had already had two children and was going through cancer treatment, if I remember correctly. I totally understood where that man was coming from. He was bored. He still loved his wife and kids, I’m sure, but he was definitely bored and stupidly tempted by a younger woman.

Chris Rock has this great joke about how a man is only as faithful as his opportunities; if she chases you, you can’t run that fast! I’m sure most men would want to think that way, but it is usually more likely that the man never runs away to begin with, if he’s bored or having trouble communicating with his partner.

Like I said, women over 30 are sexy, even if their youthful looks are fleeting. It really is too bad that women in the western world are paranoid about their looks. I always remember this scene In The Heart of Darkness, where the narrator describes the African woman on the bank of the river. There’s nothing more sexual than an openly confident woman.

My advice to young women, stop worrying about your looks, read some more good books, and never accept any man’s shortcomings. To women in their 30’s or older, you should already know this, and if you ever catch your man cheating on you, well you already know why he did it, you just have to decide what you are going to do about it.

Enter Sanatorium

It’s no secret that I absolutely hated some aspects of my high school education. I have even written letters to former teachers condemning them as terrible examples of educators and stating how I will never forgive them for it either. On one occasion I even had the opportunity to tell them in person just how much of a genius I am today and how their failing me on more than one occasion did nothing to discourage me, but only proved their failure to recognize my superior intellect. I am not saying that all my teachers were hugely inadequate but that many were in fact lacking. In college, I learned just how bad my situation had been, because my school was talked about in Jonathan Kozol’s book: Savage Inequalities. It was nothing short of amazing to have it all in a published book and know that your accusations and rebellious thoughts as a teenager were all vindicated by someone who not only wrote it down but made it available for the world to see. This was my proof of all the crap I put up with in school: the four long years of high school imprisonment. But as good as I felt about being vindicated, I started to feel even angrier about it, because this showed me that people knew exactly what was going on with the Chicago Public School System, and had done nothing about it!

Now today I am a parent, and I still mistrust the school system and its teachers, even though my kids have a better school system. I still associate schools with sanitariums and prisons. When I think of public education I think of brainwashing children. This is the image I get and I can’t help feeling that I am right about this.

Some of my friends tell me that it does not matter cause I have made it and I am better for it. After all I am articulate, intellectual, and damm right knowledgeable. It should not matter. But it does.

Recently I read Paul Graham’s essay: Why Nerds Are Unpopular and it made so much sense. Why I resent teachers and the school system and why I am conflicted between being an intellectual and being a rebellious anarchist.

If life seems awful to kids, it’s neither because hormones are turning you all into monsters (as your parents believe), nor because life actually is awful (as you believe). It’s because the adults, who no longer have any economic use for you, have abandoned you to spend years cooped up together with nothing real to do. Any society of that type is awful to live in. You don’t have to look any further to explain why teenage kids are unhappy.

I certainly now realize why even kids that have more opportunities than I did, are no better off than I was back in high school. The situations are still the same, it may have been that I had it a little worse than some of the kids I see today, but we both entered the same sanatorium, and we all have to get out of it someday.

There Is No Evil, Only Boredom

It is part of my philosophical skepticism, that makes me doubt the existence of evil. I mean what really is evil? An act, a desire, a crime against humanity, or perhaps our own misguided ego who can’t phantom itself as being nothing more than the center of the universe? All things are relative. I can see myself as the world revolving around me, but if I could see myself from the outside, I know this conclusion to be false. This idea, that you can escape your self and see yourself as your true self, or see the truth that you are not the center of the universe is suppose to incite empathy toward others. The whole, I know truth, because truth is me, and I know my true self, so I now know truth, is both the start of enlightenment and in some cases the end of it.

Life is a constant battle with ourselves. I am my greatest enemy and my only savior. When I stop ignoring my ego and instead acknowledge it, I am no longer blind to the truth, but if I give in to it wholely I will no longer know truth.

Philosophy aside though, evil to me is when an act personifies selfishness or lack or empathy on such a degree, that there is little doubt that there was ever any positive intention.

Evil though does not just happen, it manifests itself as something else. Most of the time, idleness and boredom are the root of it. Almost everything that people today refer to as evil is really just selfishness or boredom, or both. It is a progression, we can think of the end result as evil, I suppose, but evil is not really the source.

Most of the time, we use the term to distance ourselves from things we no longer want to associate with. The opposite of empathy is often what we feel when we attach the term to someone or something. In a sense, evil is suppose to be alien, the thing we tell ourselves that we don’t know. It gives us comfort to feel this way.

However, this is not true, most of the time we do know, we do empathize, we do see how such a thing can be. Even if our ego refuses to see the world as anything but relative, we all know boredom, we know that feeling, and we know that situation, we can also see the progression of it.