Dealing With A Bad Marriage

Believe it or not, I am not married. I however have been in a long term relationship since 1993 and do have two kids to show for it. In that time I have had plenty of ups and downs in my relationship and even managed to mature somewhat into the idea that I will never marry most likely. I have also known plenty of men and women who happen to be divorced or pretty close to ending their marriage. Recently a friend of mine disclosed to me his own marriage turmoils and it reminded me of how difficult it is to make relationships work.

It seemed like only a couple of years ago I sat at their wedding and heard the minister speak of the holy union between man and woman and the whole idea that what God joins, men may not break. Many people cried as they heard those words; I saw old women cry, as well as even young men. Somehow it is understood that everyone, old or young alike, men and women, all want the same thing: intimacy. We feel that intimacy, eventually means we are happy at last and we no longer are left to our individual selves. But this is a false truth. Intimacy is not happiness, and even if it was, many people lack the skills to even attain intimacy in their relationships.

The problem is not lack of intimacy that causes marriages to fail, it is that couples do not know how to communicate and compromise with each other. Relationships work best when both partners can communicate to each other what it is they want first. After this, the idea is that you can compromise with each other on how both of you can be happy. Many people end up divorcing, because they can not actually be honest with themselves and communicate their wants to their spouse. Other marriages end because spouses want different things and they never can reach a compromise.

If your marriage is in turmoil and you are pretty unhappy, the best thing to do is to start with yourself. Ask yourself what would truly make you happy? Do not think about foolish fantasies or extravagant ideas, be honest with yourself. What do you want? Once you figure out what it is makes you happy, take some time and tell your partner what that is. When you have this conversation, you need to make the point that this is what would make you happy and that this is not about your partner at all. Take time to listen to what your partner has to say about you. Recognize that no one gets everything they want out of life, much like romantic love, is an ideal that is very often hard to live up to, so are many of our desires.

Next give your partner time to come up with their own needs and have them be open and honest as much as possible. You are allowed to ask questions of your spouse, but only for clarification, never accuse or blame them for anything. Remember that all you are trying to do is to listen to what each other has to say. After both partners have said everything that they wanted to say about their own individual happiness, take some time to reflect on what was said. Be proud in the fact that both of you have made it this far and that you are still married, but also try to understand what kind of relationship both of you can have now that you both know what each other wants.

You will find that either your relationship can continue or that you are not willing to compromise in order to stay in the relationship. After talking to each other, you will have intimacy, because you have opened yourself up and shared yourself, however intimacy alone cannot save your marriage. The hardest part comes next, which is the compromise, because after all we are talking about marriage and this is what that holy union is all about: surviving one day at a time together.

Beeps In My Dream

It was one of those mornings when you know it is Thursday already, and you are just plain beat from a heavy work week that has been dragging on you to stay late at work. The dream was my usual Dream Within A Dream, filled with symbols of everything and anything, all circling into a whirl of past memories and catholic boy guilt, there is meaning somewhere but I never remember my dreams and like I said the real world was beeping! No really! Turns out the battery backup unit I have for my living room receiver was beeping like crazy, that it had no power and I woke up thinking, the battery probably died in it. After trying to fix it, I realized the house was too quiet. Looks like the unit was okay, it was the entire house that had no electricity. It’s like 3 a.m., and I’m trying to look for a freaking match to light a candle, so I can see to find a freaking flashlight. I end up using a cellphone to light my way through the house and find my watch, so I can set an alarm to wake me up in a couple of hours, so I can go to work. I finally get back to bed and all I can think of our those stupid beeps waking me up in the first place. There’s no time to start dreaming again, just thinking of work, of stuff I need to do, stuff I want to avoid, and no more dreams within a dream, just noise in my head.

Being The Mac Guy

For a long time, I was stuck in the world of Microsoft support. All I did was research and fix problems with applications running on Windows networks. Being a hard core Macintosh user since 1993, I sometimes felt miserable and frustrated with the Microsoft world. This all changed last year. I now have to support Macintosh users and it ain’t easy being the Mac guy!

The first thing you run into in supporting Macs is the Mac users themselves. Not all of them are smug, but quite a few certainly come off that way, from the first moment you inquire about their problem. Then there is OS X itself, an operating system which doesn’t have any of the usual crutches that you encounter with Windows. There is no un-installer, no Event Viewer, and so on. Instead you have to deal with The Console, and most of the BSD and UNIX tools which not all Mac users are even familiar with. Needless to say, supporting Macs when they do have a significant problem is actually harder than regular Windows support. A lot harder! I find myself sometimes even dreading a Mac call, but I’ve only been doing it for a few months and I’m certainly getting the hang of not only how to investigate Mac problems, but also how Mac users think.

Over the weekend though, my precious Venus (a Blue&White G3 Power Macintosh) decided to no longer boot up after applying the latest Mac OS X 10.4.9 update. I’ve had this machine for years; it is even older than my first born. Over the years I’ve upgraded hard drives, memory, video cards, and CPUs in it, and it has taken everything I’ve thrown at it and more. Alas I will try one more attempt to get it to boot into an OS tonight, before I totally give up on it. Losing Venus has been hard on me, I still don’t think I am over it, but one must go on.

I’ll probably end up getting a new iMac, just because I can’t see myself spending $2500 on a Mac Pro Tower.