It’s hard to think about real love. No I’m not talking about self-absorbed reality TV love, where only the beautiful face the supposedly arduous task of finding compatibility, compatibility being wealth, good looks, and material possessions, no what I’m talking about is average people with average looks looking to find someone who cares enough about them to take notice of them. But in the age of instant gratification, where entertainment is so accessible, men are finding the challenge of courtship to be the one game that they are no longer willing to invest in.
Sure, I may be exaggerating, there are some men who still rather go out on a date than play Halo2 or GrandTheftAuto, but more and more, what I see is men in their thirties and twenties, plain giving up. Remarkably the same problems I had as a teenager are still abundant in my thirties. Men still lack charisma, self respect, and identity. We go around neither understanding women, nor investing time in the problem of women, yet we spend every day, almost every hour communicating and thinking about them! This is in fact what makes life so interesting, for whatever other facet of your life you partake in, arguably the most challenging is still your significant other. Sometimes I think women manufacture conflict on purpose, why else would they bother you during some of your most important moments? Whatever their intentions may be, women are essentially the problem, without them life would be mundane and more like a video game you have beaten countless time.
This brings me to why some men really do give up on women and don’t try to court them anymore. It’s insecurity. The feeling that you are being scrutinized, (which of course you are), along with the prospect that you are failing miserably, is what deters men. They hate that feeling, and I certainly have felt that way ever since 5th grade, when I realized that it was girls who had this effect on me and that it was not an allergic reaction.
However, for a lucky few men, there are some very engaging and determined women who do pursue them and who eventually get their man. On average though, the man has to be the hunter, and the woman usually has to make him think that he is just that, even though she knows this is more of an exaggeration to help the man’s ego out. In essence the game of courtship is quite complicated, as men we need to understand this, and play up to the challenge of it, understanding our own insecurities is the first step in realizing that we are indeed serious about this thing called: Love.